The other day I saw something that I found quite disturbing.

The other day I saw something that I found quite disturbing. I saw someone who I can only describe as ‘wide’ riding a bicycle. At first I wondered why they had saddlebags the same colour as the material they were wearing, then I realised it was not saddlebags, but flabby parts of their anatomy. I hope you all have that image now. I would hate to think I am the only person who is suffering.

I would also like to think that the sales person who sold the leggings that this bicycle riding individual was wearing received a severe talking to from his or her boss and possible emotional readjustment. I have no issues with people and their size, I never have, but I feel that a line really needs to be drawn when it comes to wearing either nylon or lycra, especially by cyclists, all cyclists whether they be wide or not wide! I have and never will be guilty of such a crime to fashion.

Why is it at this moment and over the last few months I have responded to several questions from family and friends with ‘I have absolutely no idea’? Why do I respond like this? Simply because I have absolutely no idea what the answers to their questions are. Even I am becoming bored with my answer and really need to start checking up on more things to give a decent answer in future.

The worrying thing about the information I have stored in my head is that a lot of it is just nonsense. It was the author, playwright and wit Oscar Wilde who said ‘It is a sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information’. Oscar, I beg to differ. In my opinion, there is too much. Trivia and useless information just drags you in and away from the important things in life. Due to the large amount of useless information I have stored in my head I cant think of anything important at the moment, so you see, I am right on this one.

I mean, okay I’m a man, but why do I need to know stuff about helicopters or when the Battle of Waterloo was? By the way, the big one with the twin engines is called a Chinook, the Battle of Waterloo took place in June 1815, and just in case you were wondering, Waterloo is in Belgium. See! Trivia!

What is the point of all this useless knowledge? If only the human brain was like the inside of a computer or indeed like a flash drive. Remove the un-necessary wasteful data and keep only essential information. Obviously, there is a need for a certain element of society to hang onto trivia. The world needs Google and Wikipedia as well as people like Stephen Fry, otherwise we would drown in our own boredom, but why do I need so much of this nonsense that fills my head?

Let me see if this works… right-click my brain… select item… select delete and… No! Its still there!