It’s not much fun being strapped into the doorway of a Puma assault helicopter over hostile territory, even less fun when you know you are going to enter a world of noise and pain.

Okay, do I have you attention? Right I will get on with my boring and slightly longer than usual blog now.

As you probably guessed I wasn't in a Puma assault helicopter over hostile territory, I was in fact in my mate Phill's car. I will not slag off Phill's car, as I drive a Renault Clio and feel that I have no right to slag anyone off for the car they have. Oh, unless they drive a Pink Smart, then I feel it’s justified.

Anyway, after getting ready I made sure I was fully prepared for the day ahead, money, check, camera, check, safety glasses, check, warm clothing, check, hat in case of rain, check, and also in case of raining bits of clay pigeon (this sometimes happens if you “pot” one as it passes over head. Sometimes the little blighters have one last go at you before they end up the ground).

Phill collected me about 10:30 and then we headed off to the Kingdom of Fife (yes, it really is called a ‘Kingdom’) for a day of fun, buns and clay pigeon genocide.

The drive is a pleasant one, using many country roads and passing many places of interest.

The journey is a nice relaxing one, although this can change due to the fact you can be stuck behind some kind of farm machinery, which I’m sure is capable of more than 5 miles per hour. There are fields to the right and left occupied by farmhouses and wildlife.

The first part of the pleasant journey comes to an end at a village called Newton just on the way to the round-about leading to South Queensferry and the Forth Road Bridge, a kind of Golden Gate Bridge of San Francisco look-a-like for anyone that doesn’t know it.

The views up to the bridge and from the bridge are spectacular. The journey over the bridge gives the passenger a chance to see some wonderful views along the River Forth. To the left, running up the coast of the River Forth there are the towns of Blackness, then Bo’ ness, then on towards Grangemouth, to the right here are small islands in the Forth only approachable by boat, but lovely to see either in a car crossing the bridge or when walking across the length of the bridge. This is not recommended in high winds. Please do not try this at home.

Once over the bridge we were well on our way. On the way to Cluny many names of places whiz by that mean nothing to anyone other than the people who live there, places like Cowdenbeath, Lochgelly and Cardenden. This is possibly the most monumental due to the fact that, it is the birthplace of fictional detective, and anti-hero Inspector John Rebus, as created by son of Cardenden, Ian Rankin.

When we got to Cluny Clays, we sat down in the comfortable bar area with its open coal and log fire and got ourselves some warm drinks, we also splashed out on a couple of cakes, just for the sugar-rush you understand, to keep us motivated. We were now waiting on our friend Raymond to join us and then we could set out for some ‘Cluny clay clobbering’.

When we set out we normally get 50 rounds each. This gives each one of us a 1 in 50 chance of hitting at least one clay.

We chatted, laughed and walked in the fresh air and enjoyed the scenery. The shooting ranges are situated on the outskirts of the 9 hole golf course, all this means is that we are in more danger of being hit by a golfers shots than a golfer is of being hit by our shots.

There are a number of shooting ranges at Cluny. Normally we start at range number one but decided to start at a different on this time around. This was actually a bad move as it made us look very poor. I blame the wind and the weather. That’s my excuse and I am sticking to it.

We then moved on. At the first range, we decided from the choice of “A” or “B” what pattern of “launch” we thought we could handle, more importantly, what would make us look good in front of strangers. Egos are at stake in circumstances like this.

Clays come from all directions depending on what range you go to, this gives you a chance to test your skills and laugh at your friends inability to hit a small circular object travelling at high speed at a good height, of course the roles are reversed at the next range. For anyone who has never seen a clay pigeon the average one is roughly 100mm (4 inches) in diameter and 25mm (1 inch) in height. They come in two basic colours, black and orange. There are smaller ones for the more experienced shooter, but for us anything the size of a barn door will do.

Range number 2 gave us another chance to use our sharpshooter like skill and shoot lots of fresh air, and the occasional clay.

If anyone is interested in going to Cluny and you want to take a ‘small’ family member, the youngest that anyone is allowed to be, in order to use any sort of weapon (shotguns, air rifles, bow and arrow) at Cluny is 10 years of age.

The most important thing for anyone to learn when shooting is not how to hit clay in flight, but weapons safety. If any one reading this blog ever goes shooting, whether it is with shotguns, pistols or air rifles please always remember Safety First. Always treat a weapon, any weapon, as if it is live and loaded.

When carrying a shotgun, always make sure the gun is “broken” (opened exposing the chambers, this makes it impossible to fire) and to remove any rounds whether discharged or not, from the weapon. Try not to drop a round. The likelihood of it actually going off is slim, but you never know.

Stay alert, stay alive, always a good motto to live by.

Range number 3 led to more scattering of shot in all directions and banter and pleasant, light-hearted mockery, as well as more safety advice.

Range number 4 was different from the last time we went. Each occasion we have been to Cluny there has been a change, sometimes it is subtle sometimes it is pretty big. This isn’t annoying it is entertaining. A new landscape or new launcher means a new challenge!

The clays are launched either towards you, away from you or across your field of vision. In some cases, they roll across the ground to simulate land-based targets. In other cases they can be launched almost simultaneously, this is known as a driven pair. They can be a bit difficult to hit, but when you do this, it gives you a warm feeling of satisfaction inside. That feeling increases when you do it a second time. The smugness just grows and so does the grin across the face.

We moved from range 4 to range 5 and then onto range 6, repeating our successes and mistakes at every opportunity. Moving back through the track we headed towards the multi-shoot area. This gives you eight different launchers that not only vary in direction but also in speed. When you press the launch button, you have no idea what will happen next, this keeps you on your toes, and weaving and bobbing like a prizefighter in the boxing ring. At the command “Pull” the clay sores into the sky from nowhere and is “dusted” in the air by your shot or lands, smashing into the ground into a dozen bits.

The day went well and great fun was had. If the Clay Pigeon was, a species all I can say is that as long as we are hunting it, this species will not only survive but also flourish. Our success rate was about 50% for each of us, but that is only part of the fun. The idea is to enjoy the day and the company, and I can honestly say that is what we did. We also enjoyed the very tasty meal that we had afterwards and of course the conversation and the wit and banter of good friends, both old and new and with that, I bid you goodbye and farewell.