After all, garden sheds are supposed to be a bit messy... Part The Second - A Plastered footballer.

Let us begin.

The guidance notes informed me that I could “Mould a footballer and paint him in your team's colours following this step by step guide.”

Fair enough.

It then asked me to “Ask an adult to look through this guide with you before you start. Protect clothing and work surfaces when moulding and painting.” I should explain the reason I had this in the first place was because of a project that my sister was doing at her school. She isn’t a pupil, she’s a teacher, and it was on arts and crafts… stuff like that… any way, back to the plot…

I was informed that if my clothing was accidentally splashed with paint, I had to wash the “affected area at once with ordinary soap and warm water”, I use to paint and draw a LOT when I was younger, at school and sometime after, so the chances of me wasting or splashing paint were minimal, but hey, you never know. Any way, if I was going to clean off some paint from my garments I was instructed to avoid the use of detergents and biological washing powder. Oooooohh. Okay.

Now, like everything else in this ‘cash-for-claims’ society this simple little plaster cast moulding kit had the following: “Safety Rules for Plaster Moulding”

Please refer to the CAUTION on the back of the box.

1. Do not place the material in the mouth. (I’ll do my best)

2. Do not inhale the dust or powder. (Check. It can cause dryness, sneezing, and a pasty white appearance like that of a clown with no sense of style)

3. Do not apply to the body. (erm… okay.)

4. Keep younger children under the specified age limit (it seems that this kit is for children of 5 years old and above. Well’ I’m okay there then) and animals away from the activity area.

5. Store chemical toys out of the reach of young children.

6. Wash hands after carrying out activities. (Check)

7. Clean all equipment after use. (Check)

8. Do not use any equipment which has not been supplied with the set or recommended in the instructions for use. (Check)

9. Do not eat, drink or smoke in the activity area. (That’s not going to happen)

So, now that the Health and Safety at Work Act was dealt with, my first instruction was to make a mould rest from an empty cardboard box. Yes! At last some actually arty type nonsense to be getting on with.

To be continued...