without the deaths and somewhat unusual methods of execution...

I have been known to mention, on occasion, Camberwick Green, or Trumpton or PC McGarry or very occasionally Chigley.

To some people, probably to a lot of people these names mean nothing, but they have been brought back to my mind by the fact that my sister has bought a DVD box-set of the aforementioned Camberwick Green.

This was a British children's television series featuring stop-motion puppets. It was made before I was old enough to enjoy it, but I have memories of it being repeated as I got older. It was actually one of the first British television series filmed in colour, a major mile-stone in TV history. Okay, maybe not, but something I think worthy of note.

First of all a quick explanation of stop-motion, and I quote “Stop motion (also known as stop frame) is an animation technique to make a physically manipulated object appear to move on its own. The object is moved in small increments between individually photographed frames, creating the illusion of movement when the series of frames is played as a continuous sequence. Dolls with movable joints or clay figures are often used in stop motion for their ease of repositioning. Stop motion animation using clay is called clay animation or "clay-mation". Thank you Wikipedia.

The series is set in the picturesque and fictitious village of Camberwick Green, Trumptonshire, The county of Trumptonshire could be described as a plasticine version of Midsomer (as featured in Midsomer Murders/Inspector Barnaby) but without the deaths and somewhat unusual methods of execution, (death by pitch-fork, death by wine bottle, death by drowning in a beer cask, etc, etc, etc).

The village is inhabited by characters such as Police Constable McGarry (Number 452), not exactly Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby (either Tom or John), but the sole representative of law enforcement none the less. This makes me think that there is an extremely low crime rate and my comparison with Midsomer and the surrounding area isn’t that accurate. But I digress.

There is the local baker is Mickey Murphy. Then there is Dr Mopp (who makes house calls in his vintage car, not sure if it’s a Ford Model T, but it’s rather nice) and looks a bit like a bespectacled Abraham Lincoln.

Mrs Honeyman, is the local gossip who is always seen carrying her baby. This probably suggests that she isn’t as old as she first appears, as she seems to dress in Victorian garb, as indeed do most of the villagers.

Every week the villagers underwent such crises as a shortage of flour; a swarm of bees; a water shortage; and rumours of an unwanted electrical sub-station being built in the village, as I said before Midsomer without the deaths and somewhat unusual methods of execution.

Outside of the village there is Jonathan Bell, who owns the "modern mechanical farm", who is a friendly business rival of owner of a creaking old windmill, Windy Miller. Windy is a firm believer in old-fashioned farming methods. He is probably one of those ‘We don’t like strangers in these here parts’ that you would see at the start of An American Werewolf in London. Or maybe not.

Every once in a while there is the appearance of the staff and cadets of Pippin Fort, a nearby military academy run by Captain Snort and Sergeant-Major Grout.

You see what I mean about the similarities between this and Midsomer Murders? No? So it’s just me then?

Anyway, one of the things I did notice was the titles of many of the programmes in the Trumptonshire series and how they would suit themselves to crime stories. Most of which fall into Sherlock Holmes titles...

1. Peter the Postman (or rather Sherlock Holmes and The Adventure of...)
2. Mr Crockett, the Garage Man (or rather Sherlock Holmes and the Adventure of...)
3. Farmer Jonathan Bell (or how about Sherlock Holmes and the Disappearance of...)
4. PC McGarry (Sherlock Holmes, Inspector Lestrade and...)
5. "Mr Dagenham, the Salesman" (7 March 1966)
6. "Mr Carraway, the Fishmonger" (14 March 1966)
7. "Mickey Murphy, the Baker" (21 March 1966)
8. "Mrs Honeyman and Her Baby" (28 March 1966) The Strange Case of...

As for Trumpton, well the episode titles are as follows:

1. "The Printer and the Bill Poster" (or rather Sherlock Holmes and The Adventure of...)
2. "Miss Lovelace and the Mayor's Hat" (or rather Sherlock Holmes and The Adventure of...)
3. "Mrs Cobbit, the Ice Cream Man and the Branch" (or rather Sherlock Holmes and The Adventure of...)
4. "Miss Lovelace and the Statue" (or rather Sherlock Holmes and The Adventure of...)
5. "Mr Platt and the Painter" (or rather Sherlock Holmes and The Adventure of...)

As with Camberwick Green and Trumpton, the action centres on a small community, in this case the fictitious hamlet of Chigley, near Camberwick Green in Trumptonshire. Chigley is more of an industrial area, but still worthy of a mention. It also has landed gentry, one Lord Belborough and he seems to take up quite a few of the episode titles. So here goes.

1. "Lord Belborough's Secret" (or rather Sherlock Holmes and The Adventure of...)
2. "Lord Belborough's Lucky Day" (or rather Sherlock Holmes and The Adventure of...)
3. "The Broken Bridge" (or rather Sherlock Holmes and The Adventure of...)
4. "Willie Munn" (or rather Sherlock Holmes and The Adventure of...)

I think you get the idea now. Anyway, it was just another of my random thoughts passing through my random mind. Rather similar to the “James Bond” and “Cheese” blog entry some time back. 

And with that thought, I leave you to your day. 

Thank you.

TEXTING for over 40s

I must admit, that when I text, I do text in whole words. 

Yes. I know... "You text in whole words? Really?" 

Yes. I do. But I have started using some text speak which made me want to share this with you. The youth of today (wow, that makes me sound old, really old) have all their little SMS codes, like BFF, WTF, LOL etc. 

So here are some codes for the more mature 'texter'.

• ATD - At the Doctor's
• BFF - Best Friends Funeral
• BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
• FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
• GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
• GHA - Got Heartburn Again
• HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement
• IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
• WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
• GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kickin In!

Thank you for letting me share my random thoughts once again.

After all, garden sheds are supposeed to be a bit messy... Part Four... The Plaster Footballer Goes Fourth

The Plaster Footballer Goes Fourth... or rather didn't.

It may have been the fact that the plaster in the pack was old, or damp, or something else, but as I peeled away the rubber mould from his moulded shape he began to crumble like one of the Nazis at the end of Raider of the Lost Ark.

I may attempt another 'arts and crafts' session when I have more time and fresh plaster.

Until then...

After all, garden sheds are supposed to be a bit messy... Part Three... The bit after part two

In order to make the mould rest I was going to need some cardboard, a ruler, a pair of scissors, a water-pot, and water.

1. cut out a piece of cardboard approximately 15cm (6") square.

2. Brush around the base rim of the mould with a little paint.

3. Press the base of the mould firmly onto the centre of the card.

4. Wash the mould.

5. Carefully cut around the printed outline on the card.

***

Moulding Guide

In order to make the moulded player I would need a small mixing bowl, a jug, bowl or suitable container at least 2.5cm (1") taller than the mould, metal spoon, fine sand paper, water, washing-up liquid and a cloth.

Then I filled the container for the mould approximately three quarters full of water. I then filled the mould almost to the top with water and poured that into the mixing bowl. After that it was time to place the mould in the mould rest.

Using a metal spoon I sprinkled the moulding powder into the mixing bowl of water until there was a thin film of water left on top. To be honest this did not sound that scientific, but hey-ho, those were the instructions.

I began stirring the mixture with the spoon until it was smooth.

Holding the mould around its base under the rest, I immediately spooned the plaster mix into the mould until, as per the instructions, it was a third full. 

I then had to gently squeeze the mould to expel any air bubbles and ensure all parts are filled. Too be honest, I think I now know what it's like to milk a cow.

I then placed the mould in its rest on top of the container of water then carried on adding the mixture until the mould was full almost to the brim.

I then rinsed out the mixing bowl and washed the spoon in case I needed it later.

All I had to do after that was to leave the model to dry for at least 40 minutes, or longer if necessary. And longer is my current option.


To be continued...

After all, garden sheds are supposed to be a bit messy... Part The Second - A Plastered footballer.

Let us begin.

The guidance notes informed me that I could “Mould a footballer and paint him in your team's colours following this step by step guide.”

Fair enough.

It then asked me to “Ask an adult to look through this guide with you before you start. Protect clothing and work surfaces when moulding and painting.” I should explain the reason I had this in the first place was because of a project that my sister was doing at her school. She isn’t a pupil, she’s a teacher, and it was on arts and crafts… stuff like that… any way, back to the plot…

I was informed that if my clothing was accidentally splashed with paint, I had to wash the “affected area at once with ordinary soap and warm water”, I use to paint and draw a LOT when I was younger, at school and sometime after, so the chances of me wasting or splashing paint were minimal, but hey, you never know. Any way, if I was going to clean off some paint from my garments I was instructed to avoid the use of detergents and biological washing powder. Oooooohh. Okay.

Now, like everything else in this ‘cash-for-claims’ society this simple little plaster cast moulding kit had the following: “Safety Rules for Plaster Moulding”

Please refer to the CAUTION on the back of the box.

1. Do not place the material in the mouth. (I’ll do my best)

2. Do not inhale the dust or powder. (Check. It can cause dryness, sneezing, and a pasty white appearance like that of a clown with no sense of style)

3. Do not apply to the body. (erm… okay.)

4. Keep younger children under the specified age limit (it seems that this kit is for children of 5 years old and above. Well’ I’m okay there then) and animals away from the activity area.

5. Store chemical toys out of the reach of young children.

6. Wash hands after carrying out activities. (Check)

7. Clean all equipment after use. (Check)

8. Do not use any equipment which has not been supplied with the set or recommended in the instructions for use. (Check)

9. Do not eat, drink or smoke in the activity area. (That’s not going to happen)

So, now that the Health and Safety at Work Act was dealt with, my first instruction was to make a mould rest from an empty cardboard box. Yes! At last some actually arty type nonsense to be getting on with.

To be continued...

After all, garden sheds are supposed to be a bit messy, aren’t they?

Currently I work a number of days on and a number of days off.

Don’t get me wrong, when I work, the days can be pretty long and I work (on every second week a Wednesday) every Thursday, Friday and Saturday. It’s actually quite good on my days off as it gives me chance to do stuff.

It can be really good, but there are times when I get bored.

Fine, we all get bored, but I don’t get bored that often, so when I do, I feel that I am letting myself down for getting bored in the first place.

Normally when I do get bored I will go out for a walk and enjoy nature and the fantastic scenery or I’ll work in the garden. If the weather is bad I usually have enough to do inside to keep me occupied.

I may also read, write, watch television or DVDs. I may listen to music, the radio or audio books. All of which keeps my mind occupied. Sometimes though, I need something else to get the ‘little grey cells’ agitated.

It was on one of these ‘a bit bored’ days that I was tidying up the garden shed when I came upon something I thought would alleviate the boredom. After all, garden sheds are supposed to be a bit messy, aren’t they? And this one will stay messy for a wee bit longer.

What did I find? You are asking. Well’ I’ll tell you.

I found a mould kit that allows you to make a plaster cast footballer.

You’re not that impressed are you? Well, maybe not, but it was the most exciting thing in the shed. And I knew it would help me out of the shallow rut I was about to get myself into.

The rest of this blog (when I get around to it) will be about my progress and success (or not) in creating a 15cm (150mm/6 inch) tall plaster cast footballer. And then deciding in what colours I would paint him. It may not be literary brilliance or indeed a riveting read, but at least it stopped me from having to vacuum the living room, the downstairs hall, the downstairs toilet and the hall stair carpet. 

To be continued... 

Looking before I leap. Even without knowing where I'm leaping. Episode Two... A New Hope.

A long, long, time ago… in a factory far, far away…

To re-cap…

“To be honest I am overwhelmed by the amount of work involved in this role. The number of tasks involved is pretty high and I feel it might have been better getting someone who was already familiar with the job, for example one of the existing trainers and replacing them with someone from the production area, or spread the work load between the other trainers, to slot into the job rather than bringing someone fresh into the role with little or no knowledge of the way things are done.”

On Friday afternoon I had a meeting with my manager.

Although my work has been good so far she feels that they are putting me under too much of a work load, especially with all the new starts coming in over the next few months and the new procedure updates.

So the plan is that they will be spreading the work load between the other trainers.  She thinks it would be better for me and fairer on me if I returned to my original work area next week, but has asked if I would help out Monday and Tuesday (1000 to 1800) of this week. I will then return to ‘my team’ on Wednesday, working Thursday, Friday and Saturday (0600 - 1600).

To be honest, I have no problem with doing this. 

And to be more honest, it is a bit of a relief.

Thank you for listening.